Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back
Half the people you know are below average.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life
Constipated People Don't Give A crap
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't know how to spell anonymous" -unknown
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"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."
--James T. Kirk
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