Description of different types of government

Space Goat · 01-08-2006, 02:24 PM

Description of different types of Governments

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

FACISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk.

NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both your cows, and then shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, then pours the milk down the drain.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull.

Arik · 01-08-2006, 03:21 PM

HIPPYISM: You can't "own" cows, man!

Deslok · 01-08-2006, 04:17 PM

The primary species of the Astrobar represent their own forms of... well, not government exactly, but of social or anti-social behavior.

Cymroism - You have two cows, one to drink directly from the cow's tits, and the other for "recreational" use.

Beanism - You have a cow and a beaver, both are drinking buddies.

Space Goatism - You have two goats, both of whom argue with each other constantly.

Stagism - You have one cow, but it has a moonroof.

Daxism - You have one friendly cow with a long tongue, but seems to be invisible most of the time.

Arikism - You have penguins, not cows. Cows are too much of a reminder of the Gateway boxes.

Flaming Cosmonautism - You have a cow for delivering the milkman, but not the milk.

Deslokism - One cow dispenses hot coffee, the other exhales pot smoke constantly. Both fart incessantly, but their farts don't stink.

Iamspenism - There was this cow at band camp...

Cujoism - You have two mooses, they're the only Blue Jays fans in existence.

Brikar · 01-09-2006, 11:02 AM

List seems... incomplete. Somehow.

Cymro · 01-09-2006, 11:36 AM

Brikarism - You have two cows, and you use them to make TV shows and design DVD covers for them.

Brikar · 01-09-2006, 06:32 PM

That's more like it...

Deslok · 01-09-2006, 08:12 PM

Dammit, I knew I forgot somebody...

Sorry Bri!

Brikarism - You have one cow, and its name is Scorned.

Brikar · 01-09-2006, 09:57 PM

Gitch · 01-10-2006, 02:04 AM

I nominate my own.

Gitchism - you have three cows. You experiment on two of them illegally, whilst the third smiles politely at customers at the sports centre, before crapping in their gym bag.

Bean · 01-10-2006, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Deslok stopped drinking long enough to mumble

T

Beanism - You have a cow and a beaver, both are drinking buddies.

LMAO!!

01-08-2006, 02:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
Space Goat "It's a faaaake!" Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Washington, D.C. Posts: 432	Description of different types of government Description of different types of Governments COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk. SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. FACISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and sells you the milk. NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both your cows, and then shoots you. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both of them, shoots one, milks the other, then pours the milk down the drain. CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one of them and buy a bull. __________________ "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." -V for Vendetta "Don't tell me what I can't do!" -John Locke, Lost Visit me on the web: Hypersyllogistic \| Flickr \| Twitter

01-08-2006, 03:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
Arik Astro-Monkey Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Here, dumbfuck! Posts: 2,304	Re: Description of different types of government HIPPYISM: You can't "own" cows, man! __________________ The writers of this post apologize for you being too stupid to understand it.

01-08-2006, 04:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
Deslok regruntled and reemployed Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: in front of the computer Posts: 1,221	Description of different types of Astro-government The primary species of the Astrobar represent their own forms of... well, not government exactly, but of social or anti-social behavior. Cymroism - You have two cows, one to drink directly from the cow's tits, and the other for "recreational" use. Beanism - You have a cow and a beaver, both are drinking buddies. Space Goatism - You have two goats, both of whom argue with each other constantly. Stagism - You have one cow, but it has a moonroof. Daxism - You have one friendly cow with a long tongue, but seems to be invisible most of the time. Arikism - You have penguins, not cows. Cows are too much of a reminder of the Gateway boxes. Flaming Cosmonautism - You have a cow for delivering the milkman, but not the milk. Deslokism - One cow dispenses hot coffee, the other exhales pot smoke constantly. Both fart incessantly, but their farts don't stink. Iamspenism - There was this cow at band camp... Cujoism - You have two mooses, they're the only Blue Jays fans in existence. __________________

01-09-2006, 11:02 AM	#4 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,606	Re: Description of different types of government List seems... incomplete. Somehow. __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

01-09-2006, 11:36 AM	#5 (permalink)
Cymro Religious Fanatic Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Shitsville, CF63 Posts: 4,921	Re: Description of different types of government Brikarism - You have two cows, and you use them to make TV shows and design DVD covers for them. __________________ "Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. "But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

01-09-2006, 06:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,606	Re: Description of different types of government That's more like it... __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

01-09-2006, 08:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
Deslok regruntled and reemployed Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: in front of the computer Posts: 1,221	Re: Description of different types of government Dammit, I knew I forgot somebody... Sorry Bri! Brikarism - You have one cow, and its name is Scorned. __________________

01-09-2006, 09:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,606	Re: Description of different types of government lol __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

01-10-2006, 02:04 AM	#9 (permalink)
Gitch Consultant Fellationist Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: God's own country merry England Posts: 435	Re: Description of different types of government I nominate my own. Gitchism - you have three cows. You experiment on two of them illegally, whilst the third smiles politely at customers at the sports centre, before crapping in their gym bag. __________________ If masturbation is self-abuse - you are obviously doing it wrong.

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