Stag

You knew it was going to start sooner or later, so...here are a few one-liners on Jacko from the late night talk shows...

Today Michael Jackson surrendered to police. He was booked and they took his fingerprints. Afterwards the police said that this was the first time that Michael’s fingers had looked black in years

Michael Jackson was arrested today. You know, the interesting thing is that this all could have been avoided if he would have stuck to grabbing his own crotch

Michael Jackson was arrested yesterday. Huge story. The Santa Barbara Police report says that Michael Jackson is 5’11” and only weighs 120 pounds. When asked why Michael was so skinny he replied it was because he’s always eating off the children’s menu.

Tonight we have California firefighters here, to give thanks to them for the great job they did putting out the fires. These guys are brave. Just like the Boy Scouts at the Neverland Ranch, they put their asses on the line every day.

Of course you know about Michael Jackson - or, as the kids call him, "SpongeBob NoPants."

Police had a warrant to arrest Michael Jackson, but they arrested Diana Ross by mistake.

I guess Michael was arrested under that new law: three tykes and you’re out.

They performed a cavity search on him and found Emmanuel Lewis.

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"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley