|
| |||||||
| FAQ | The Drunks | Calendar | Arcade | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
 |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
12-14-2003, 10:13 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Patrons  Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 1,010
  |  I have a friend (she's my best friend) who got custody of her 11 year old boy a year ago. The problem I'm having with it is that her current husband is an alcoholic and drug user. Her house is always messy, there's always dirty dishes in the sink, so diry that they have mold on them. They never have food in the house, they always order pizza and what food they do have is junk food (chips, cookies, ect.). He's been sleeping on an air matress on the floor that he complains hurt his back. There's always a pile of dirty clothes and towels on the bathroom floor. When I was over there last week, the clothes and towels were litterly up to my ankles. The dog pees and poops in the dinningroom and they hardly change the cat's litterbox. They filed bankruptcy a few months ago then turned around and bought themselves a new bed (well over $600) and a new tv for their bedroom, as well as buying other things and have spent several thousand dollars in the past few months on themselves. meanwhile this boy is sleeping on an airmatress, and she keeps telling me that they can't afford a bed for him. Her husband works nights and her job requires that she work a night shift 2-3 time per week, thereby leaving her son home alone until 11pm. Some of my other friends, who don't know them, have told me that I should contact children service. If children service goes out there and takes her son away, I would feel guilty about that, but I also feel guilty that he is forced to live in that condition. So, I kind of feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really don't know what to do. I know that if children service takes him, he will be in a group home or foster home because they won't let him go back to his father. The reason she got custody in the first place is because his father is also on drugs. When he was living with his father, he was pretty much in the same situation. My friend went to the father's house when he wasn't home to "visit" her son. She snuck around and took pictures that she used in court. The house was a mess, the boy was sleeping on a matress on the floor, and they didn't take care of the dog or clean up it's mess. So nothing has really changed for this poor child living with his mother. So, I don't know what to do. Should I contact children service and risk him being put in a group home and feel guilty that I was the cause of my friend's son being taken away? Or should I just consider it none of my business and butt out and feel guilty that this boy has to live in such filthy conditions? I know that either way, I'm going to feel guilty.
__________________ >Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?" >>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?" |
|  |
|
12-14-2003, 07:29 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| "It's a faaaake!"  Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 432
  | You must contact children services. I know she's your friend, but the conditions in which she forces her child to live are horrible. And such a terrible state of affairs will impact the child's development, believe me; the sooner he's out of there, the better. Please help your friend's son.
__________________ "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." -V for Vendetta "Don't tell me what I can't do!" -John Locke, Lost Visit me on the web: Hypersyllogistic | Flickr | Twitter  |
|
| |
|
12-14-2003, 09:54 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Astro-Monkey  Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Here, dumbfuck!
Posts: 2,304
 | I agree with the above. Parenting isn't a right, it's a responsibility. Your friend has clearly shirked her responsibility. While foster services aren't always the best option, at least it'll give him a chance at a semi-normal and happy life, which is more than he'll aparently get at home (he might even get placed with a more responsible family member, which would be best all around).
__________________ The writers of this post apologize for you being too stupid to understand it.  |
|
| |
|
12-14-2003, 10:46 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Patrons Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 1,010
| I guess I'm going to have to face the fact that I should do the right thing and call children service, I just feel so guity about it, but I feel more guilty about not doing anything to help him.
__________________ >Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?" >>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?" |
|
| |
|
12-14-2003, 11:03 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| The Dude  Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,606
| Would it be possible for you to care for the child? Maybe you could give him a better home, but he could still have contact with his mother because she's your friend?
__________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com |
|
| |
|
12-15-2003, 12:05 AM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| "It's a faaaake!" Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 432
| Quote:
__________________ "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." -V for Vendetta "Don't tell me what I can't do!" -John Locke, Lost Visit me on the web: Hypersyllogistic | Flickr | Twitter | |
|
| |
|
12-15-2003, 12:37 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| The Awesome One  Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh!
Posts: 5,055
| If you sit back and doo nothing Dax, then you're just as bad as them for allowing it to continue. I would have no respect whatsoever for someone who would sit back and let it happen because it makes them "feel bad" to call children services. Think of how guilty you'll feel when the child is seriously injured.
__________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk |
|
| |
|
12-15-2003, 01:04 AM
| #9 (permalink) | |
| The Dude Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,606
| Quote:
Because it would be breaking up the child and the mother. Wouldn't you feel bad about that?
__________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com | |
|
| |
|
12-15-2003, 02:08 AM
| #10 (permalink) | |||
| "It's a faaaake!" Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 432
| Quote:
As someone who had to live with a terrible mother during his early childhood, I would have to say no. Instead, I'd feel good about getting the kid out of a bad situation.
__________________ "People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." -V for Vendetta "Don't tell me what I can't do!" -John Locke, Lost Visit me on the web: Hypersyllogistic | Flickr | Twitter | |||
|
| |
|
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Linear Mode
