Daxie

I was "flying" down the road yesterday going 10 mph over the limit; I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"*
*
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.*
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
*
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with
my whole hand in .... I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about
6 foot wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"*
*
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."

Traffic Ticket: $95.00
Court Costs: $45.00**
The Look on that Cop's Face: PRICELESS!!!

__________________
>Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?"

>>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

Stag

ROFLMAO---

You did not do that!!!

__________________
"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Stag

...AND you can use the money you get from showing me your boobs to pay the fine, the lawyer and the increased insurance costs.

__________________
"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Daxie

LOL! on my private island they can't touch me.... I just won't pay.... you hear me? I"M NOT PAYING IT!!! :P
.
.
.
.
.... damnit! where's my checkbook?

__________________
>Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?"

>>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

Stag

Besides, everyone knows there are two justice systems in America. One for the poor and one for the rich.

Show me the boobs and in one fell swoop you go from one to the other. You'll be moonwalking on your brand new SUV (purchased with my money----pffft) in no time.

__________________
"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Daxie

Show me the money first :P

__________________
>Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?"

>>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

The Lensman

Dax, you've made me laugh for the first time in weeks. Thanx!

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Everyone Booze Up And Riot!!!
Milk and Cheese

Daxie

You're Welcome

__________________
>Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?"

>>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

Stag

Dax, you didn't show him that picture of me I sent you, did you...

__________________
"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Daxie

No sweetie, that's for my own private amusement... and anyone willing to pay $9.95 for the internet version.

It was just my natural charm that perked Lens up

__________________
>Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?"

>>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"