Stag

GOD!! German men have turned into such pussies...what happened to the stormtroopers, the blitzkreig, the Prussian Officer Corps... THE MASTER RACE...they have turned to this...mewling kittens...

German men told they can no longer stand and deliver
By Kate Connolly
(Filed: 18/08/2004)


German men are being shamed into urinating while sitting down by a gadget which is saving millions of women from cleaning up in the bathroom after them.

The WC ghost, a £6 voice-alarm, reprimands men for standing at the lavatory pan. It is triggered when the seat is lifted. The battery-operated devices are attached to the seats and deliver stern warnings to those who attempt to stand and urinate (known as "Stehpinkeln").

"Hey, stand-peeing is not allowed here and will be punished with fines, so if you don't want any trouble, you'd best sit down," one of the devices orders in a voice impersonating the German leader, Chancellor Gerhard Schroder. Another has a voice similar to that of his predecessor, Helmut Kohl.

The manufacturers of the WC ghost, Patentwert, say they are ready to direct their gadgets at the British market.

Their prototype English-speaking WC ghost says in an American drawl: "Don't you go wetting this floor cowboy, you never know who's behind you. So sit down, get your water pistol in the bowl where it belongs. Ha, ha, ha."

They also plan to copy the voices of Tony Blair and the Queen.

So far 1.8 million WC ghosts have been sold in German supermarkets.

But Klaus Schwerma, author of Standing Urinators: The Last Bastion of Masculinity? doubts whether it will ever be possible to convert all men.

"Many insist on standing, even though it leads to much marital strife," he said.

In German, the phrase for someone who sits and urinates, a "Sitzpinkler", is equivalent to "wimp".

Information appearing on telegraph.co.uk is the copyright of Telegraph Group Limited and must not be reproduced in any medium without licence. For the full copyright statement see Copyright

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"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Brikar

They all died in the war...s

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"A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown."

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Gitch

No - we're still here.

Oh wait you mean the Germans?

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If masturbation is self-abuse - you are obviously doing it wrong.

Stag

Gitch, I said master -race, not master -baters

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"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Bean

I don't know if I can think of anything more imasculating...

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"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk

iamspenagain

Does "imasculating" come from the same dictionary as "lesbianity?"

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If I could, I would marry a Magnum bar.

Stag

why, yes, of course it does

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"I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

Bean

Yes, it's in the edition that includes the word "stragedy".

__________________
"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk