"xXx: State of the Union"

Brikar · 04-29-2005, 06:22 PM

Jesus. The first "xXx" starring Vin Diesel was easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and one of the few that I've ever refused to watch a second time (along with Quentin Tarantino's insipid "Kill Bill" shitfest). So when I saw that MTV has the first ten minutes of the movie up on their website, at first, I scoffed, thinking, "God, why would I waste time or money on a sequel that even Vin Diesel didn't want to be part of?"

Well, I clicked on it anyway. Needless to say, there's ten minutes I'll never get back and I didn't even PAY. It says a lot that the first xXx, Vin Diesel's "Xander Cage" character is killed off-screen in the first ten minutes of the movie. Literally. Samuel L. Jackson looks entirely bored. The action is silly, just like in the first one, with physics being pretty much ignored, and not in a good way or even a fun way - (A tip to the director: Even in the most inept action movies, when something blows up, things nearby are generally pushed AWAY from the explosion). Also, when a character jumps up to grab something, generally, you want to use a shot where it looks like that character will actually make that jump.

Yeesh.

Bean · 04-29-2005, 09:04 PM

I think you should direct the next XXX Brikar.

Brikar · 04-29-2005, 09:05 PM

If I didn't have such a disdain for the franchise and its aims (that is, to belittle James Bond as much as possible) I wouldn't mind the opportunity in the slightest.

Cymro · 04-30-2005, 06:50 PM

What do you expect with a name like xXx?

Stag · 05-01-2005, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Cymro stopped drinking long enough to mumble

What do you expect with a name like xXx?

Ummm. I don't know...porn

Cymro · 05-01-2005, 12:44 PM

Exactly, so there's no wonder why Brikar's so dissapointed...

Stag · 05-01-2005, 02:04 PM

Good point

Cymro · 05-01-2005, 04:50 PM

Thank you, yours ain't that small.

04-29-2005, 06:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,606	"xXx: State of the Union" Jesus. The first "xXx" starring Vin Diesel was easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and one of the few that I've ever refused to watch a second time (along with Quentin Tarantino's insipid "Kill Bill" shitfest). So when I saw that MTV has the first ten minutes of the movie up on their website, at first, I scoffed, thinking, "God, why would I waste time or money on a sequel that even Vin Diesel didn't want to be part of?" Well, I clicked on it anyway. Needless to say, there's ten minutes I'll never get back and I didn't even PAY. It says a lot that the first xXx, Vin Diesel's "Xander Cage" character is killed off-screen in the first ten minutes of the movie. Literally. Samuel L. Jackson looks entirely bored. The action is silly, just like in the first one, with physics being pretty much ignored, and not in a good way or even a fun way - (A tip to the director: Even in the most inept action movies, when something blows up, things nearby are generally pushed AWAY from the explosion). Also, when a character jumps up to grab something, generally, you want to use a shot where it looks like that character will actually make that jump. Yeesh. __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

04-29-2005, 09:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bean The Awesome One Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 5,055	I think you should direct the next XXX Brikar. __________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk

04-29-2005, 09:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,606	If I didn't have such a disdain for the franchise and its aims (that is, to belittle James Bond as much as possible) I wouldn't mind the opportunity in the slightest. __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

04-30-2005, 06:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Cymro Religious Fanatic Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Shitsville, CF63 Posts: 4,921	What do you expect with a name like xXx? __________________ "Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. "But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

05-01-2005, 12:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cymro Religious Fanatic Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Shitsville, CF63 Posts: 4,921	Exactly, so there's no wonder why Brikar's so dissapointed... __________________ "Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. "But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

05-01-2005, 02:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
Stag It's me again Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Florida Posts: 3,286	Good point __________________ "I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

05-01-2005, 04:50 PM	#8 (permalink)
Cymro Religious Fanatic Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: Shitsville, CF63 Posts: 4,921	Thank you, yours ain't that small. __________________ "Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. "But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

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