Arik

If you haven't already seen it...

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) on Vimeo

__________________
The writers of this post apologize for you being too stupid to understand it.

Closet Racist

I like when she says ''stop laughing at me! Why are you laughing?!?''

__________________

Cymro

I'm in the same boat as that girl, except my version would have more special effects and less plot.

__________________
"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Bean

Are you saying that you've never seen Star Wars?

__________________
"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk

Cymro

I've seen bits of the first 3.

__________________
"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Bean

Are you kidding me?

__________________
"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk

Cymro

No. Here's my version:

Galaxy far away:

There used to be a Republic, something bad happened, and now it's part of an Empire, ruled by a Sith, and his mate Darth. Some annoying dude called Luke meets someone called Obi Wank Enobi played by Alec Guiness and a green thing called Yoda, played by George Lucas. Alec Guiness trains him how to choreograph a glowstick fight to make money on the local nightclub scene, mutters something about "The Force".

For some reason, Luke wants to go on an adventure, so he hires Harrison Ford and Robin Williams, as well as two gay robots and sets off. Apparently Luke's from the Deep South because he's in love with his sister.

Lots of spectacular space battles ensue, Dyson Sphere blows up, turns out Darth is Luke's father, everyone lives happily ever after, and George Lucas milks it for the next 30 years.

Also, The Empire strikes back at something, and a Jedi returns. Jedis are special because they can use the force.

__________________
"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Bean

Wait wait wait wait! Are you really SERIOUSLY telling us that you haven't seen the Star Wars movies?? I mean.. YOU?? Of all people?? A founding member of the Astrobar, a man who like the rest of us spends what is probably an unhealthy amount of time on SciFi message boards, has not seen Star Wars???

__________________
"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk

Cymro

Yep. My dad introduced me to Trek, but he never much liked Star Wars (and in fact told me they weren't worth watching). So I never watched them, even though later on I've tried watching them when they get shown on TV once a year, but then I get bored.

__________________
"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Bean

Wow.. that's just so... I mean.. I just always kinda figured...

REALLY?????!!!???

__________________
"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk