iamspenagain

The Average American

A man walked alone along a dark sidewalk in a middle-class neighborhood somewhere in the Midwest. As he whistled along with the tune playing on his iPod, he noticed exactly how boring his neighborhood was. All the houses were about the same size (most of them had eight or ten rooms), and most had a shiny car or two sitting in the driveway. He came to an intersection and turned the corner, still whistling.

It took him a while to see the man because his dark clothing blended in with the night. He walked slowly, drudgingly, towards the man with the iPod, dragging something behind him. It took the man a bit to realize exactly what the dark-clad traveler was moving. Behind him was a human corpse, roughly three feet in length. A child! The corpse was hardly more than bones, bones that were poking out of its shoulders. Its ribcage was clearly visible in the soft moonlight. He ripped his earphones out and called out to the other man.

“You!” he yelled. The other man looked up. “What…what is that?”

The man in dark clothing smiled an empty smile. “It’s a child. I found him.”

“Then we should call the police. I have a cell phone, just bought it yesterday. Where did you find him?”

“I don’t know, Africa, the Middle East, Southeast Asia. Somewhere like that. I found him and then killed him.”

The man with the iPod’s eyes grew wide Fear flowed through his veins, his mind was gripped by panic. “Who,” he squeaked. “W-who are you?”

“I am you,” the other man said.

“N-no, no you’re not!”

“Aren’t I?”

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If I could, I would marry a Magnum bar.

Cymro

So the averge American is Bush?

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"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Bean

That is absolutley the creepiest thing I've ever read on this board Spen... Is it from something you're writing?

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"I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing."

--James T. Kirk

iamspenagain

Just a short story I came up with and typed up in about seven minutes' time.

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If I could, I would marry a Magnum bar.

Cymro

could you shorten it to limrick form?

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"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Brikar

I like it.

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"A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown."

http://olympusmans.blogspot.com
http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

Cymro

I like it too, but I'd like it evn more if it were a limerick...

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"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Brikar

Well boo freakin hoo. We can't always get what we want.

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"A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown."

http://olympusmans.blogspot.com
http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

Cymro

Except me, since I do most of the time...

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"Let me tell you something about humans, nephew: They're a wonderful, friendly people - as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working.

"But take away their creature comforts, deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers, put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time and those friendly, intelligent, wonderful people...will become as nasty and as violent as the most blood-thirsty klingon."

Daxie

Like the story Spen... makes you think.

Just to keep Cymro from crying: There once was a woman from Venius, her body was shaped like a...

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>Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?"

>>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"