Smallville "krypton-ite"

Brikar · 01-18-2004, 04:01 AM

Instead of posting it act by act and worrying about all the formatting and crap, here's the word document that was passed in to the professor. It's got the entire thing, clocking in at 62 pages - A title page, a cast list, a sets page, and the script itself (5 acts and a teaser).

Hope it meets with your approval. Tell me what you think of it, please.

Cujo · 01-19-2004, 04:57 PM

Well... having alittle too much time on my hands at work, I just read the entire thing. Overall I really like it. Seriously good work Bri!

SPOILERS (for those of you that haven't read it yet)

I only have a few critiques (and they are minor so no worries). When you set the dialogue for Jonathon Kent, you first start out using 'JOHN' then at the end use 'JONATHON'. I would suggest keeping that the same throughout. Storywise, maybe I missed something but when Lex first enters, he is looking for Clark. While later on they are talking at the Talon, you never find out what Lex wanted from Clark. Also, while having Jimmy command out "Kneel before Zod!" is a great fanboy reference, it doesn't match up with your attempts to make Jimmy look like a confused & angry kid that doesn't know why he was abandoned. Of course that could be addressed in a follow-up episode, that was eluded to.

Other than that I really enjoyed it. I think you got the characteristics of everyone pretty close to what we've already seen on screen. The acts also follow a familiar Smallville pattern which I liked.

Cujo's score for "Krypton-ite": 9.5/10

Brikar · 01-20-2004, 08:11 PM

I'm glad you liked it.

We were working right up to the deadline on it, and, in fact, I had to run with the disk up to the professor's office to make it before he left... So the switch between John and Jonathan was just a mistake we overlooked.

The Zod thing... It was something I really, REALLY wanted to do, but once we finished we realized that it didn't quite fit as well as we'd hoped, but I still really wanted to do it. We threw it in, hoping that it would work. I think it kinda does. He's confused and angry all the way up until the end, when he snaps and he's just gone, and Clark's best efforts can't bring him back - he was just too far gone from years of dysfunction. At least, that's the way I see it.

01-18-2004, 04:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,585	Instead of posting it act by act and worrying about all the formatting and crap, here's the word document that was passed in to the professor. It's got the entire thing, clocking in at 62 pages - A title page, a cast list, a sets page, and the script itself (5 acts and a teaser). Hope it meets with your approval. Tell me what you think of it, please. __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

01-19-2004, 04:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Cujo Lover AND a Fighter Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 758	Well... having alittle too much time on my hands at work, I just read the entire thing. Overall I really like it. Seriously good work Bri! SPOILERS (for those of you that haven't read it yet) I only have a few critiques (and they are minor so no worries). When you set the dialogue for Jonathon Kent, you first start out using 'JOHN' then at the end use 'JONATHON'. I would suggest keeping that the same throughout. Storywise, maybe I missed something but when Lex first enters, he is looking for Clark. While later on they are talking at the Talon, you never find out what Lex wanted from Clark. Also, while having Jimmy command out "Kneel before Zod!" is a great fanboy reference, it doesn't match up with your attempts to make Jimmy look like a confused & angry kid that doesn't know why he was abandoned. Of course that could be addressed in a follow-up episode, that was eluded to. Other than that I really enjoyed it. I think you got the characteristics of everyone pretty close to what we've already seen on screen. The acts also follow a familiar Smallville pattern which I liked. Cujo's score for "Krypton-ite": 9.5/10 __________________

01-20-2004, 08:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,585	I'm glad you liked it. We were working right up to the deadline on it, and, in fact, I had to run with the disk up to the professor's office to make it before he left... So the switch between John and Jonathan was just a mistake we overlooked. The Zod thing... It was something I really, REALLY wanted to do, but once we finished we realized that it didn't quite fit as well as we'd hoped, but I still really wanted to do it. We threw it in, hoping that it would work. I think it kinda does. He's confused and angry all the way up until the end, when he snaps and he's just gone, and Clark's best efforts can't bring him back - he was just too far gone from years of dysfunction. At least, that's the way I see it. __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

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