Just A Tease...

Brikar · 03-30-2004, 01:56 AM

This is the teaser for the TV pilot I told you guys about. My partner and I have 99 pages of first draft, and it's not completed yet, though we are at the climax of the story. Then we move on to second draft, and we've got enough time (hopefully) for a possible third should we feel it necessary before it's due in the middle of May.

So here it is. Enjoy, let me know if you don't like it, or if you love it.

DÉJÀ VU
“What You Leave Behind”

TEASER
FADE IN:

EXT.BOSTON STREET - DAY
SUPER: Radisson Hotel, Boston Massachusetts
The street is busy, with people going in and out of the hotel entrance. By the doors, we see a large sign advertising a comic book convention within.

INT. CONVENTION HALL
A colorful, lively comic book convention. There are tables set up everywhere with stacks and stacks of comics, boxes of comics, big posters, toys, bootleg movies – all the stuff we’d expect to find here. Plus, a number of colorful characters strut about in costume, mingling with the average geeks.

We focus on two unlikely guests – two men, looking serious, and dressed it, too. One is BILL HAMMETT, the Agency SWAT leader, and the other is RICK THOMAS, an investigator. They’re checking everyone out, especially the ones in costumes.

HAMMETT
Ever been to one of these before?

THOMAS
No, actually. Um, I was more into baseball cards as a kid.

HAMMETT
Too bad. Fun stuff. I used to love Spider-Man.

THOMAS
I saw the movie. Does that count?

Hammett just gives him a look. Then, he pauses, as though he’s getting a feeling.

HAMMETT
Get down…

In slow motion, Hammett pushes Thomas down behind him. Suddenly, the sound of gunfire rings out in the convention hall.

Hammett is glaring forward, and we zoom along his line of sight to three men in colorful costumes. Two of them are pulling guns, the third already has and is the one that fired.

What we see now, is a strange, exhilarating effect: We can see a forward “echo” of the bullets as they fly through the air. Hammett can see them two, and merely changes his position slightly, and both bullets slide by on either side of his head as he raises his own gun.

Suddenly, everything speeds back up to normal, and Hammett gets off two shots. The man who fired pitches backward, and lands on a table of comics, and breaks through it.

Hammett ducks down next to Thomas, who has pulled out his own gun.

HAMMETT
Never been to one of these, eh?

Thomas just shakes his head, and looks up. He comes back down a second later as bullets tear up the stack of comics in front of him.

THOMAS
They’re closer to him…

HAMMETT
Yeah, I see him.

THOMAS
If you can open something on the left, we can get through.

HAMMETT
I thought I was the TacOps guy here.

THOMAS (smiles)
Yes, but I’m an investigator. I see clues.

HAMMETT
Right. This guy’d better be worth it! Go!

Hammett stands up amidst a hail of gunfire, and everything slows down again. His face is a carving of determination as he levels his sights on a cheap plastic stand behind the enemy gunmen. He fires a single shot. The bullet streaks through the air, and takes out one of the supports for the stand.

The televisions on top of the stand playing some animated Japanese movie topple over on top of the gunmen.

Hammett looks down at Thomas as things go back to normal speed.

Thomas is already moving, charging headlong through the scared crowd toward a far corner of the convention hall. Hammett quickly follows along, laying down suppression fire for their run.

Finally, they reach a small booth at the corner, beneath a window, where a young man is huddling in fear. He’s dressed in an odd purple costume, with a cape and mask and all.

HAMMETT (while firing)
This him?

Thomas looks up and sees a large sign that reads: THE GREAT FUTURO!

THOMAS
Yep. It’s him.

FUTURO
What? What?

Hammett reaches down and grabs FUTURO by the costume.

HAMMETT
C’mon, geek! Hang on, ‘cause this is gonna suck a whole lot!

He waits a moment, appearing to count, and then stands up and kicks out the window above them.

THOMAS
Hammett, we’re on the tenth floor!

HAMMETT
Trust me.

He jumps out, hauling the screaming Futuro behind him. Thomas follows an instant later as bullets chew up the window frame.

The enemy gunmen run up to the window and look out – and see nothing.

FADE OUT

END OF TEASER

03-30-2004, 01:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
Brikar The Dude Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 3,585	This is the teaser for the TV pilot I told you guys about. My partner and I have 99 pages of first draft, and it's not completed yet, though we are at the climax of the story. Then we move on to second draft, and we've got enough time (hopefully) for a possible third should we feel it necessary before it's due in the middle of May. So here it is. Enjoy, let me know if you don't like it, or if you love it. DÉJÀ VU “What You Leave Behind” TEASER FADE IN: EXT.BOSTON STREET - DAY SUPER: Radisson Hotel, Boston Massachusetts The street is busy, with people going in and out of the hotel entrance. By the doors, we see a large sign advertising a comic book convention within. INT. CONVENTION HALL A colorful, lively comic book convention. There are tables set up everywhere with stacks and stacks of comics, boxes of comics, big posters, toys, bootleg movies – all the stuff we’d expect to find here. Plus, a number of colorful characters strut about in costume, mingling with the average geeks. We focus on two unlikely guests – two men, looking serious, and dressed it, too. One is BILL HAMMETT, the Agency SWAT leader, and the other is RICK THOMAS, an investigator. They’re checking everyone out, especially the ones in costumes. HAMMETT Ever been to one of these before? THOMAS No, actually. Um, I was more into baseball cards as a kid. HAMMETT Too bad. Fun stuff. I used to love Spider-Man. THOMAS I saw the movie. Does that count? Hammett just gives him a look. Then, he pauses, as though he’s getting a feeling. HAMMETT Get down… In slow motion, Hammett pushes Thomas down behind him. Suddenly, the sound of gunfire rings out in the convention hall. Hammett is glaring forward, and we zoom along his line of sight to three men in colorful costumes. Two of them are pulling guns, the third already has and is the one that fired. What we see now, is a strange, exhilarating effect: We can see a forward “echo” of the bullets as they fly through the air. Hammett can see them two, and merely changes his position slightly, and both bullets slide by on either side of his head as he raises his own gun. Suddenly, everything speeds back up to normal, and Hammett gets off two shots. The man who fired pitches backward, and lands on a table of comics, and breaks through it. Hammett ducks down next to Thomas, who has pulled out his own gun. HAMMETT Never been to one of these, eh? Thomas just shakes his head, and looks up. He comes back down a second later as bullets tear up the stack of comics in front of him. THOMAS They’re closer to him… HAMMETT Yeah, I see him. THOMAS If you can open something on the left, we can get through. HAMMETT I thought I was the TacOps guy here. THOMAS (smiles) Yes, but I’m an investigator. I see clues. HAMMETT Right. This guy’d better be worth it! Go! Hammett stands up amidst a hail of gunfire, and everything slows down again. His face is a carving of determination as he levels his sights on a cheap plastic stand behind the enemy gunmen. He fires a single shot. The bullet streaks through the air, and takes out one of the supports for the stand. The televisions on top of the stand playing some animated Japanese movie topple over on top of the gunmen. Hammett looks down at Thomas as things go back to normal speed. Thomas is already moving, charging headlong through the scared crowd toward a far corner of the convention hall. Hammett quickly follows along, laying down suppression fire for their run. Finally, they reach a small booth at the corner, beneath a window, where a young man is huddling in fear. He’s dressed in an odd purple costume, with a cape and mask and all. HAMMETT (while firing) This him? Thomas looks up and sees a large sign that reads: THE GREAT FUTURO! THOMAS Yep. It’s him. FUTURO What? What? Hammett reaches down and grabs FUTURO by the costume. HAMMETT C’mon, geek! Hang on, ‘cause this is gonna suck a whole lot! He waits a moment, appearing to count, and then stands up and kicks out the window above them. THOMAS Hammett, we’re on the tenth floor! HAMMETT Trust me. He jumps out, hauling the screaming Futuro behind him. Thomas follows an instant later as bullets chew up the window frame. The enemy gunmen run up to the window and look out – and see nothing. FADE OUT END OF TEASER __________________ "A million monkeys typing until the end of time will produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Ten thousand monkeys typing for ten thousand years will write a Hemingway. Ten monkeys typing over Columbus Day weekend will give you a Dan Brown." http://olympusmans.blogspot.com http://benforrealz.blogspot.com

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