Funny Quotes in General

Bean · 08-09-2004, 05:22 PM

I figured that after the second Quotes thread in the entertainment section, we should have one permanent thread for sharing all of our quotes. It'd save us some time searching for new sigs at the least.

Stag · 08-09-2004, 06:19 PM

Yeah, good idea, how about this one...

Shit in one hand and wish in the other, see which hand fills up first." Billy Bob Thornton - Bad Santa

Arik · 09-20-2004, 10:26 PM

Murphy: "You didn't tell me I had to pay them back for all that stuff."
Sparks: "No. Not exactly."
Murphy: "You exactly told me it was a magical goodies creator. Remember?"
Sparks: "I may have."
Murphy: "So where the hell am I going to get 108,000 dollars?"
Sparks: "You could transfer the ballance on your high interest card to another one...that actually is a magical goodies creator."
Murphy: "Okay."

-Captain Murphy and Sparks discussing Murphy's new credit card
Sealab 2021, "The Policy".

Daxie · 11-09-2004, 11:07 AM

"Hey I just thought of something funny... your mamma!"
-Cheech

Ok... so that was reaching back... way back... but meh!

Bean · 11-17-2004, 02:06 PM

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing - Unknown

Bean · 11-22-2004, 12:54 AM

Postwhoring has a purpose - Cymro

Daxie · 12-05-2004, 11:50 PM

In a hurricane they tell you to evacuate, it's an old engligh word that means get the hell out of there.
-Steve Harvey

Bean · 03-17-2005, 04:50 AM

I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm gonna ask them where they're going and catch up later. -Unknown

Daxie · 03-20-2005, 02:41 AM

All I know about computers is that they run on smoke. When it leaks out, it's broken.
-Unknown

Bean · 04-22-2005, 12:32 AM

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back

Half the people you know are below average.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life

Constipated People Don't Give A crap

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!

"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't know how to spell anonymous" -unknown

08-09-2004, 05:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bean The Awesome One Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 4,847	Funny Quotes in General I figured that after the second Quotes thread in the entertainment section, we should have one permanent thread for sharing all of our quotes. It'd save us some time searching for new sigs at the least. __________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk

08-09-2004, 06:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
Stag It's me again Join Date: Jan 1970 Location: Florida Posts: 3,286	Yeah, good idea, how about this one... Shit in one hand and wish in the other, see which hand fills up first." Billy Bob Thornton - Bad Santa __________________ "I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" - Sam Cogley

09-20-2004, 10:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Arik Astro-Monkey Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Here, dumbfuck! Posts: 2,235	Murphy: "You didn't tell me I had to pay them back for all that stuff." Sparks: "No. Not exactly." Murphy: "You exactly told me it was a magical goodies creator. Remember?" Sparks: "I may have." Murphy: "So where the hell am I going to get 108,000 dollars?" Sparks: "You could transfer the ballance on your high interest card to another one...that actually is a magical goodies creator." Murphy: "Okay." -Captain Murphy and Sparks discussing Murphy's new credit card Sealab 2021, "The Policy". __________________ The writers of this post apologize for you being too stupid to understand it.

11-09-2004, 11:07 AM	#4 (permalink)
Daxie Patrons Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 1,003	"Hey I just thought of something funny... your mamma!" -Cheech Ok... so that was reaching back... way back... but meh! __________________ >Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?" >>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

11-17-2004, 02:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
Bean The Awesome One Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 4,847	I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God's got a sick sense of humor and when I die I expect to find him laughing - Unknown __________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk

11-22-2004, 12:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
Bean The Awesome One Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 4,847	Postwhoring has a purpose - Cymro __________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk

12-05-2004, 11:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
Daxie Patrons Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 1,003	In a hurricane they tell you to evacuate, it's an old engligh word that means get the hell out of there. -Steve Harvey __________________ >Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?" >>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

03-17-2005, 04:50 AM	#8 (permalink)
Bean The Awesome One Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 4,847	I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm gonna ask them where they're going and catch up later. -Unknown __________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk

03-20-2005, 02:41 AM	#9 (permalink)
Daxie Patrons Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 1,003	All I know about computers is that they run on smoke. When it leaks out, it's broken. -Unknown __________________ >Hagar: "Before we go into battle today let me remind you what we're fighting for! We're fighting for justice! We're fighting for equality! What could be more important than that?" >>Eddie: "How about a steady paycheck, health insurance and a good retirement plan?"

04-22-2005, 12:32 AM	#10 (permalink)
Bean The Awesome One Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: Canada eh! Posts: 4,847	Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back Half the people you know are below average. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory OK, so what's the speed of dark? Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I'll be sober tomorrow but you'll be ugly for the rest of your life Constipated People Don't Give A crap If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now! "When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't know how to spell anonymous" -unknown __________________ "I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing." --James T. Kirk

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