The Average American


Cymro's Bitch
Jan 1, 1970
The Nast 'Nati, Ohio
The Average American

A man walked alone along a dark sidewalk in a middle-class neighborhood somewhere in the Midwest. As he whistled along with the tune playing on his iPod, he noticed exactly how boring his neighborhood was. All the houses were about the same size (most of them had eight or ten rooms), and most had a shiny car or two sitting in the driveway. He came to an intersection and turned the corner, still whistling.

It took him a while to see the man because his dark clothing blended in with the night. He walked slowly, drudgingly, towards the man with the iPod, dragging something behind him. It took the man a bit to realize exactly what the dark-clad traveler was moving. Behind him was a human corpse, roughly three feet in length. A child! The corpse was hardly more than bones, bones that were poking out of its shoulders. Its ribcage was clearly visible in the soft moonlight. He ripped his earphones out and called out to the other man.

“You!†he yelled. The other man looked up. “What…what is that?â€

The man in dark clothing smiled an empty smile. “It’s a child. I found him.â€

“Then we should call the police. I have a cell phone, just bought it yesterday. Where did you find him?â€

“I don’t know, Africa, the Middle East, Southeast Asia. Somewhere like that. I found him and then killed him.â€

The man with the iPod’s eyes grew wide Fear flowed through his veins, his mind was gripped by panic. “Who,†he squeaked. “W-who are you?â€

“I am you,†the other man said.

“N-no, nyou’re not!â€

“Aren’t I?â€


Jan 1, 1970
Columbus, Ohio

Fuck all y'all! :p

Since that one was never finished.... here you go Cymro.... There once was a man from Nantucket who's cock was so long he could suck it. One day he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, "if my ear were a cunt I could fuck it".

Happy now welshy? :p


Religious Fanatic
Nov 30, 1999
Shitsville, CF63
You work in a call center now? Shit, Bean, you change jobs more often than pants!

and Daxie, YAY, you have finally finished the limerick that I have heard the beggining of so many times on American TV, but never saw the end of! Lemme buy you a beer!